ah..I am contradicting myself….and for that reason I did not want to post anything. But where else can I be myself but on my own blog which has no regular subscribers anyway…like all diarists, I suppose, I imagine that in the future, someone will find the scraps of my blog in cyberspace and write a paper on it or something. what will they say about me, I can only wonder..
so…i did get baptized at Christ Tabernacle. Not living with Ian helps me live in the Perfect Law of God, and I knew I could emerge from the waters cleansed and walking a new path. Pastor Michael Durso baptized me, which was an incredible moment. I was so grateful to everyone, and Ian though he is not supposed to be talking to me, intervened because I was going to be late.
and, dear readers, yes I am talking to Ian, so no, I have not mourned him as if he were dead, and yes dear readers, there is a court order, but I feel ok with our once a week visitation, strictly platonic, except my family would really be upset if they knew, but i am not mentioning it…do you think that is against biblical teachings? it is the only conscience problem i am currently experiencing..
and i have run alot this week! my own beautiful run this weekend (see “taking it back” post) a run/walk with Gia on Monday. The Joe Michael Mile, all 4.8 miles of it with my limited visitation of my former running partner, and another scheduled with Gia this evening. All together I think I will definitely do over 10 miles this week, and I am grateful to be back to this practice.
I am happiest when I wake up and remember to talk to God. This morning it took me a few hours to figure out what was missing, and it quickly righted itself.