fear.

Flushing Corona Park

Last night we joined a gym.  I was afraid. I was afraid that I would get soft by running inside. I was afraid I would be too bored to run on an indoor track.   I was afraid it would be too crowded.  I was afraid because I didn’t have  a lock to secure my coat.  We went outside in FREEZING windy weather.  I was so uncomfortable because I didn’t have a lock, so I just threw on a coat over work out clothes for 68 degree temperatures.  I wanted to turn back.  I was afraid we would have to park 5 blocks away. It was a tense 20 minutes.

Well, of course, it was all wonderful.  Ian dropped me off right at the door and I left my coat, he parked really close.  It’s a new city gym called Al Oerter Recreation Center next door to Flushing Corona Park (The location of the World’s Fair in the early 60s.  I was there, but I have no recollection..) incredibly reasonably priced.  Everything was pristine and it was a very cold day, the kind of day where even outdoor workout buffs come inside, but there was not an overcrowded feel.  The jogging track is about 1/16 of a mile, I believe.  It is above the gym floor, and there are two lanes.  There were a few folks on the track and two different classes going on below us with fun music and it was fun to watch everyone moving, particularly in the Salsasize class!  There was also a big scoreboard, so we counted our time not our miles, and we did the run-walk ratio recommended for me in the beginning (3 minute run/1 min walk) then later for Ian (4 min run/1 minute walk). We ran for a solid hour, essentially a new breakthrough (although there was that one crazy 9 mile run I did a few years back out of nowhere that led to 2 years of not running…hmmm) and my legs felt great.  The ONLY reason Queens dwellers should not join this gorgeous gym is that the clean locker rooms don’t feature saunas or steam rooms.  There’s a pool and everything! $ 75.00 a year, everyone!!  You can walk into any city gym with that pass..

As I walk an increasingly more conscious path again, I realize that more clearly than ever before that fear is crippling, fear is the opposite of love.   Ian and I are attempting to get deep into our problems.  The thing that works against us and brings us down the roads of discontent and anger is fear.  The little example of my anxiety before I tried the gym last night captured it vividly for me.

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